Tide

Tide

I am alone, and yet this place is crowded
I am invisible and yet seen by all
I am so full, and yet I feel empty
I know where I am, and yet I feel lost

I feel separate from those around me
I feel voiceless yet able to shout
I ask all if they’re ok, but no one asks me
They assume that I’m always ok

I am perceived as strong in character
Strong in mind and heart
Strong in my views and opinions
Unafraid to speak my truth and stand my ground
I am seen as combative and forceful

Why?

Why can nobody see beyond the armour?
Why does nobody care to uncover more truth?
Why is this path so hard and so lonely?
Why can I see them so clearly?
Why do they seek my support without offering theirs?
Why are they happy to take and yet less so to give?

Why?

Why can’t I find the owner of my missing wing?
Why can’t I relinquish the shield and sword for a while?
Why can’t I lay my head in a welcome embrace?
Why is there no limit to what I can endure?
Why can’t I just give in and disappear?

Why?

Tomorrow is another day
You never know what’s around the corner
Right place and right time
Everything comes to those who wait

I know these and all such well-meaning platitudes
I live them I breathe them I am them
I stay positive as much as I am able
But I feel as if I am fighting the tide

The tide is strong

Treading water is boring
I need a direction in order to swim
I need a purpose to find my stroke
I need a reason to reach land

The tide is strong

© Iain Merchant 2021