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Welcome to my thinking out loud…



Posted on 12 October 2021 by Iain under Thinking Out Loud


Echoes of tomorrow reverberate through me
Cascading down my spine and impairing movement

I am lost

Voices call to me for help and yet I am alone
Tearing through my heart and hurting me deeply

I am silent

What was, and what is, collide in an emotional tempest
The storm clouds obscure my ability to see clearly

I am shrouded

Difficult choices and impossible decisions are required
Outcomes must be prioritised for others, not me

I am merely flotsam

Tomorrow will dawn but I do not care
The day proceeds and I am out of step

I am disconnected from time

In the absence of hope, there is what?
I feel empty and numb and disinterested

I am going through the motions

I need a tomorrow with some certainty in it
But I do not have the fight to shape today

I feel like the death throes of a candle’s flame

Where is my strength, my will, my purpose?
Where am I heading and why?

I am rudderless and I do not care

Shapes of the past whisper over my shoulder
Up ahead is totally obscured by thick fog

I am blind

I am blown by the winds of change
I am flown by the competing breezes

I am inexorably light and yet inordinately heavy

The maelstrom is loud in my airs
The air is violent as it pushes me around

I am still

The battle requires me to fight and fight hard
The requirement never seems to end

I have no desire to fight anymore

The debris of my previous fights are in my wake
Each step has been a lesson and a challenge

I am done with school

I am invisible where I need to be seen
I am assumed to be strong enough to cope

I have lost my strength to the ether

What does the future hold and how can I shape it?
Will tomorrow’s echo bring peace

Right now, I’m not sure I care

I don’t have the energy to climb

I don’t have the desire to fight

I need to escape from the responsibility

I don’t want to wait for the echo

I am empty

© Iain Merchant 2021

One thought on “Empty”

  1. Chris Frank says:

    …the struggle is for a purpose, but should the struggle be the purpose?…

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